So, I had a really awkward experience at my mom’s house the other night and I wanted to share it and what I thought and felt about it afterward.
I’m sitting in my mom’s living room after having dinner. Her boyfriend brings in a bottle of wine and pours each of us a glass. We start talking, catching up. I don’t know him very well, I’ve had dinner with him maybe four or five times since he and my mom got together almost two years ago. I don’t know if it’s weird for me to see my mom being affectionate and showing she cares with someone (she wasn’t ever that way with my dad or rarely was with my sister and I), or if it’s because I don’t know him so well and he’s the complete opposite of my father, but I’ve never been all that comfortable around him, even though they live together now.
The conversation begins to wander toward the internet (because my mom bought me my MacBook as a combined christmas/birthday gift and before then I was without a computer for at least six months), and all of the internet talk led to watching YouTube videos.
Now, we all know YouTube videos are like potato chips, one is never enough and hours later you feel a little guilty. Whether it be talking animals, people (my favorites are strippers and supermodels) falling down, or amazingly talented children, you can’t just watch one YouTube video. Very much like Wikipedia, one click leads to another and soon its five hours later and you haven’t moved.
So, we open his iPad (they both have one), and he opens Safari. I tell him that YouTube has its own pre-installed app and he seems hesitant about opening it and continues to look it up on Google. Finally my mom nags him and he uses the app, quickly turning the iPad away from me and pulling up the video. How he did this without clearing the search bar of “Adult porn stars” baffled me. I didn’t point it out, but he decided it would be fine to claim he didn’t know why that was there. This became an issue which my slightly tipsy mother decided to push.
I really don’t want to think about anything sexual involving either of my parents. Since the divorce I’ve had to listen to the girls my dad brings home (a few of which were loud to the point I had to leave for fear of throwing up), watch my mom make out with her boyfriend, and listen to sexual jokes made by all parties that are just…inappropriate. So this really shouldn’t have phased me, but it did. Something about how this wasn’t just he and my mom hooking up bothered me. He lives with her now in her tiny studio apartment, where does he browse YouTube for porn stars (because my mom was NOT happy, haha) or when?
This isn’t about porn or anything that goes along with it. What was so unsettling as that my mom rarely leaves him alone in her apartment. I know this, because I know my mom has secrets hidden in her apartment she wouldn’t want him to find. So is he one of those creeps who sits at Starbucks with his iPad and looks at porn? Why YouTube versus an actual porn site? The whole incident set my mind off on a string of “what ifs” that just disturbed me a little bit.
I know it’s nothing to be concerned by and it’s nothing I should dwell on, but even so, my “creepy guy” meter hit the roof. It’s just one of those things that struck me as odd and a little strange.